Last night I was on Facebook, as I often am, chatting with friends when I came to the conclusion that it was up to me to outline proper online chat etiquette. So, here I am, your humble scribe, with what will surely help interwebs communication.
- you can say anything you want online as long as you put a smiley face behind it.
- you can say anything you want online as long as you type "LOL" behind it.
- if it's not a "literal LOL" i.e. not that funny — you may be able to sue depending on your online rights in your state.
- if you can't sue due to your state laws, move.
- if Facebook hates you (as it does me) and kicks you off chat every 5 minutes, you should probably sue founder Mark Zuckerberg.
- it is not acceptable to chat up someone you went to school with and haven't seen or spoken to since 1997 and come out to them.*
- it is not acceptable to chat up someone you once had a fling with back in the day and ask if they remember said fling. *
- it is not acceptable to chat up someone you were acquaintances with back in the day and confide in them about your divorce and child custody issues.*
- it is not acceptable to chat up someone you were childhood friends with but haven't seen or spoken to since you randomly saw them in a mall in '96 and tell them you have a hard time dating because of your venereal disease.*
- it is not acceptable to chat up someone you are barely acquaintances with and ask them to "skype you."*
- if is perfectly acceptable to type "wtf?" if any of those scenarios happen to you during a chat.
I can only hope this etiquette lesson helps in your online communications. No need to thank me.
Love,

*these have all happened to moi.
