live-blogging the state of the union address

8:05 – I like how Wolf Blitzer refers to the president as being in a holding area, like he's a bull at the rodeo or something. I should be live blogging this.

8:09 – hell, they're still clapping.

8:11 – this is gonna get old.

8:12 – Pelosi introduced Obama.  It would have been cool to have Will Smith play Obama tonight.  

8:13 – Something about Omaha beach.  We must answer history's call.  Pelosi has a runny nose.  This could get ugly, folks.  

8:14 – Biden reminds me of Sam the Eagle from The Muppets.  Just thought I'd let y'all know.  

8:15 – Biden keeps nodding and he just licked his lips.  Ew.  They coulda set up a big bobble head behind Obama and that would have the same effect.

8:16 – Obama has never been more hopeful about America's future than he is tonight.  Well, that's great.  The economy is the most important task ahead, he says.  Well, duh.  Do we really need a state of the union address?  He says bailing out the banks was about as popular as a root canal.  

8:19 – To recover the rest of the bank bail-out $$ he's proposing a fee on the big banks.  AND the crowd goes wild!  Everyone's standing and clapping.  

8:20 – Obama says he's cut taxes.  More standing and clapping.  Okay, standing and clapping on one side of the room.  Jokes that he thought he thought the Republicans would applaud at that one.  2 million working now that would otherwise now be unemployed had Obama not taken the steps he did with the Recovery Act, The Stimulus Bill.  

8:23 – Oh boy, here's the part where The Prez starts with the Real People anecdotes.  

8:24 – Jobs must be the #1 focus in 2010.  Obama wants a new jobs bill, he says.  Everyone stands.  Well, yeah — who doesn't want jobs?  DUH?  

8:25 – This shit is common sense.  Can I get a speechwriting job?  Please.  Pretty please?

8:26 – P.S.  I won't say "shit" in my speeches. 

8:27 – The Prez is talking about small bidnesses.  I have a small bidness.  It's really small.  Like 2 people small.

8:28 – Tampa's getting a high speed rail system.  Tampa?  For real?

8:29 – Time to slash the tax breaks for those companies who ship jobs overseas.  

8:30 – Why is Biden frowning?

8:31 – Obama will not accept second place for the USA.  I think he's talking about the upcoming Olympics, but I could be wrong, I'm not sure — I got sucked in by Pelosi's gaze.

8:33 – He's talking about the banks again.  I really think he needs to address Pelosi's posture.  I'm not a doctor, but I think she needs some Boniva or something.  

8:34 – Clean energy is good.  Clean energy jobs are good.  Obama wants safe nuclear power plants.  Tough decisions on offshore oil and gas development, clean coal, and passing a climate bill.  

8:36 – There is grumble in the gallery about climate change.  "America must be that nation…" standing, applause.  Export more goods.  DUH.  How could that be bad?  Seriously?  Now he's talking about strengthening trade agreements.  Invest in skills and education of our people.  Duh again.  

8:40 – Now I'm completely distracted by Biden's tie.  He moved it and it's crooked.  Oh, thank the Lord, he fixed it.  Whew!

8:41 – Increase Pell Grants and tax credits on student loans.  All debt should be forgiven after 20 years on student loans.  

8:45 – Thanking Michelle for tackling childhood obesity.  Way to go, Lady O! 

8:47 – Healthcare!  

8:48 – If anyone has a better idea for healthcare, let him know.  Hmm.  I think I may know a couple of people.

8:49 – We are in a massive fiscal hole.  That doesn't sound good. Someone call FEMA.

8:50 – Sorry, I got distracted again.  How long is this thing anyway?  

8:52 – Obama wants to freeze gov't spending staring next year for three years.  If he has to use his veto power (VETO POWER, Y'ALL!) he will.

8:54 – He wants a bi-partisan fiscal commission.  Shouldn't we have one of those anyway?  I'm just sayin'.

8:55 – How weird is this?  I just got a call from the survey people asking if I trust Barack Obama to protect my gun rights.  I said "I'm sorry, I'm busy watching the president telling me what he's going to do with my money right now" and hung up.

8:56 – We face a deficit of trust.  DAYUM.

8:58 – It's time to require lobbyists to man-up!  For real.  Oh, look it's the Supreme Court!  I always like seeing the Justices.  

8:59 – I like that the Justices do not clap for anything.  They don't have time for that foolishness.

9:00 – He's tal
king party politics.  Says it sows distrust.  How true.

9:02 – It's Steve Forbes!  

9:04 – I think all the talking points are over and it's wrap-up time.  Troops will begin to come home.  Reward good governments.  Joined by allies.  It's Al Franken!

9:08 – Michelle will join with Biden to support military families, they're building a 21st century VA.   Arms control treaty.  No terrorists.  Blah blah blah.  North Korea faces further sanctions and stuff.

9:10 – more Real People anecdotes.  America must stand on the side of freedom.

9:13 – Sounds like he's repealing "don't ask, don't tell."  The military fold didn't clap, but then again – they haven't clapped all night.  I don't think that it's not that they don't like the gays.  I'm sure they like Abba night just as much as anyone.  Jazz hands!

9:14 – Chicks should get paid just as much as dudes.  Hellz yeah!  Show me the money!

9:18 – The only reason we are here is because people weren't afraid to do what was hard, what was uncertain.  

9:19 – I loathe Real People anecdotes.  

9:20 – Thank you, God bless you and God bless the United States of America.  

Kerry's Epilogue:  I realize this isn't a serious blog and I write mostly in jest, but for a moment I'd like to be a little serious.  I've been watching the State of the Union Address since I was 15 or 16 years old and I can't remember hearing less information in an address since ever.  I say that as a card carrying Democrat.  Now, I'm not going into my political beliefs here, because that's not what my blog is about, but I do not understand having the speech if the president has nothing to say.  There were talking points. but surely not enough to take up more than 70 minutes of airtime.  We all know the economy is bad, we all know Americans need jobs, we all know the environment is important – but come on, Americans want to hear more than this.  Americans put faith in you to do your job and they need to hear more about what you're doing.  You owe them that.  Hope is not enough.  

Kerry has now stepped down from her soapbox and is going back to chat with friends on Facebook (or to my dad: "Bookface or whatever you call it").