It has come to this. I have to make a public service announcement for our friends out there who didn't get what I like to call "home training." You see, I ran a few errands yesterday and saw many crimes against humanity, at least of fashion humanity.
I'm not talking about wearing white after Labor Day.
I'm talking about what to wear in public. Or rather, what not to wear in public. For the remainder of this post, public will mean any place you go to where you have to get out of your car. Yes, even Walgreens.
New Rules for Public Attire
- Wear a bra. You should know if you need one. Remember the pencil test from middle school when you put a pencil under your boob and if it stayed that meant you needed a bra? Okay, some of us could put a pencil case or a phone book under there. I'm not naming names or anything. Don't make me stand in front of Target with pencils.
- Pajamas are for home, keep them there. Oh, what gave it away that those are pajama pants? Maybe the thin fabric and drawstring waist.
- Keep the pants that say something on the behind at home too. There is nothing right about a 40 year old woman with "Juicy" written across her ass.
- Slippers are not shoes.
- A bluetooth ear-thingie is not a fashion accessory.
If further clarification is needed, please do not leave your house.
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