Friday night wrong roundup

It's Friday night.  You know what that means — sexy times.  Yep, I'm at home with some Nyquil (because I'm getting a cold), in pajamas,  Kleenex within reach, with the trusty laptop blogging and catching up on Dexter to get ready for the season premier Sunday.

This evening I stumbled upon something so ridiculous I felt I needed we needed a Friday Night Wrong Roundup.  I've done vast research for at least the past ten minutes to compile what I believe to be the utmost in wrong for you, dear readers.  The only question is where to begin.

I am nothing if not an art lover, so first up in wrong is the porntastic sculptured furniture of Peter Rolfe.  Are you in the market for a new nekkid lady sculpture/two-drawer dresser thing?  Well, look no further. 

Yeah.  I'm getting you all one for Christmas.  I can't help but notice the glaring design flaw.  Why go to the trouble of making the she-drawer if you're not going to make the nipples drawer pulls?  Hell, why not?  It's already ridiculous.

Onto more wrong.  Y'all know I'm nothing if not a fashionista (in my own mind), so I don't know how I missed this gem. 

I love the idea of interactive clothing.  It's brilliant.  Very Project Runway.  Not so sure if I want my ass winking at you though.  Thank goodness they've got a patent on that, you don't want just anybody making winking ass pants.

Speaking of winking, I've been told I have expressive eyes.  More to the point, I've been told not to do "that eye thing," which I think is my disapproving look, I'm not sure.  I'm thinking I could really push the envelope with these.

That's right.  Eyebrow weaves.  I have blond eyebrows that are pretty much invisible, so I color them when I color my hair.  I'm SO getting eyebrow weaves.  Imagine how disapproving I could look with those.  So fabulous. 

Next up is something for the musician in your life.  I'm simply a fan of good music, not a musician, so I don't know what an acoustic guitar should cost, but $3900 seems a bit high even for a Chanel, which is a fashion house, not an instrument company.   

I really hope that includes the case, which I think would make a fantastic piece of luggage, but it does kind of look like the cozies the extra pieces of my china are in. 

You know what musician types are fond of?  Sunglasses.  The name Bono ring a bell?  He's never without shades.  Do you think he has these?

That's right, they're on a roll of tape.  They stick to your face.  TO YOUR FACE.  Yeah, you won't sit on them and break them, but you'll get them stuck in your hair.  They're by Azumi and David, who are obviously geniuses, because guess what else they make? 

 Yes, they are watches.  MADE OF TAPE. 

 I'll let that sink in for a minute.

 Okay.  You know why these are the most retarded thing in this post, right?  THEY DO NOT TELL THE TIME.  The only people these "watches" are good for are the blind and preschoolers.  Oh, and THEY'RE FREAKIN' TAPE.  Have you ever had a hair caught in a bracelet?  That hurts.  Pulling tape off your wrist?  Why not just save yourself the trouble and wax your arms?  While you're at it, wax your eyebrows because they're going to come off when you take off your tape sunglasses. 

The Nyquil's kicking in.  I'll probably dream of tape and nekkid people furniture and wake up screaming "THOSE AREN'T DRAWER PULLS!"