Y'all know I am nothing if not crafty, but lately I have seen a few things that go beyond craft and down a road not only less-traveled, but perhaps the road to crazy craft town. Do you know what I'm talking about? I don't mean the things your wonderful child brings home from school that's made with love (and glitter and popcicle sticks and macaroni) that you can in no way figure out what it's supposed to be. Is it an ashtray? Is it a trivet? Do I hear coaster? NO, I'm referring to the crafts that no one needs.
I'm thinking you need a visual.
When I saw this photo of the First Lady at Westminster Abbey, I thought, "interesting. I have that ric rac and trim in my scrapbook bag." For realz. Poor Michelle looks like she fell into one of my scrapbooking bags and came out with a skirt. And she's wearing two cardigans. Two. Now, I read that the tunic is designer. And just when I was going to call Mrs. O and tell her to put down the glue gun. Yeah, it's by Australian designer Richard Nicoll. That reminds me, I'm launching my new clothing line this fall. It will be very earth-friendly, as all clothing will be made from recycling embellishments from my scrapbook stuff. I will also feature a line of monogrammed cardigans with all the letters I have left after spelling titles. The cardigans will be a big hit with those of you with names that start with Q, V, W, and Z.
Speaking of recycling, I never know what to do with all my leftover felt and I'm always thinking of practical gifts for friends, but never did I think the two would meet. Lo and behold, my latest Etsy find: Owl Pasties! No, I'm not kidding. They're called "Check Out My Hooters" and here's the description: Bedroom Beauties pasties are a hoot as bachelorette party gifts (trust
me), and guys love them (trust me). Bring out your inner burlesque
beauty and show off those girls!
Wait a damn minute. Guys love them? There are men who get all hot and bothered by owls? Oh hell no. Now I have a new reason to count my blessings everyday — that I didn't marry a man with an owl fetish.
I may be going out on a limb here, but hell, if I don't say it who will? It's time to stop with the trophy heads. Now, I've never been a fan of the taxidermy trophy head hanging in a den or an office — I think it's creep city. My father-in-law had alligator heads in their old house and decorated the deer heads for Christmas and I just can't go along with that. Plus the alligator heads were freaky — they were upstairs and sat at the doorway of his office, so when I saw them I'd think, "oh crap, alligators! oh crap, how did they climb the stairs?!"
Anytaxidermy, I've noticed something of a phenomenon lately called Modern Trophies. They may be made of felt or other fabrics or in this case, resin and paper. The big boy to our right may be the best yet — a moose made with Amy Butler paper (I know, I have the scrapbook paper). I'm so confused and torn. I can't decide if it's a horrible craft gone wrong or a really awesome way to hang my handbags in my bedroom. Sure, it goes against every fiber of belief I have that animal heads do not belong on walls, but I'm kinda loving the moose. And I'm not against hunting, I'm just against hanging the dead things inside. I would have to put some big fake eyelashes on the moose if I bought it. Oh well.
I'm ending this post with the find that inspired it. I found it on Craftgossip.com and when I saw the photo I must have stared at it, mouth agape, for 10 minutes. There were several reasons for the staring —
- there are some crazy ass people in this world.
- seriously, wtf?
- never have I thought, "oh, that would make a great finger puppet!"
- so, this is what you would wear for special occasions?
- definitely much better with crystals.
- it could do without the eyes.
- stop staring at me.
Okay, first things first — no, it's not real.
Yes, it is what you think it is.
Yes, it is a finger puppet.
No, I don't think it's available for purchase
No, I don't know how Stacyrebecca made it.
Yes, The Kerry Blog has sunk to a new low.
kerryfaler.blog 