People, I can only take so much. I am thisclose to what they used to call a nervous breakdown and I can't take much more. Believe me, it won't be pretty when they commit me, because I'm sure my iPhone will be taken away and let's not even discuss life without my accessories. Seriously.
As much as it hurts to type these words, I have to talk about it. This is not news I would want you to hear from anyone else or even worse, on the street. Twentieth Century Fox is remaking Girls Just Want to Have Fun, the 1985 classic starring Sarah Jessica Parker, Helen Hunt, and Shannen Doherty. For the love of leg warmers, I don't think I can take it. You do remember the movie, don't you?
Janey (SJP) is the new girl in her Chicago Catholic school and her dream is to be on DanceTV, an 80's American Bandstand, if you will. She becomes BFFs with Lynne (Helen Hunt) and they audtion for spots on the show. Janey is paired with boy-from-the-wrong-side-of-the-tracks, Jeff, and they practice their dance at night when Janey sneaks out of her house. When her Army dad finds out about her auditioning, he loses it and goes down to DanceTV to put his foot down. Of course, when he sees Janey dance he realizes she is a star and Janey and Jeff win spots on the show. But really, the description is nothing compared to the first-rate acting, costumes, Helen Hunt's accessories (come to think of it, this movie may have been my introduction to accessories), and –hello– a pre-teen Shannen Doherty!
Here's your refresher course:
Sweet mother of Ogilvie Home Perms, that is pure 80's. It doesn't get more cheesetastic that that, my friends. GJWTHF is a period piece. It cannot be remade! Please, as if that movie could be made in this decade. It cannot be done. And who, pray tell will play Janey? So help me, if they cast Miley Cyrus I will go Crazy White Girl on Twentieth Century Fox. I'm not kidding. I would not kid about something like this. I'm sure one of the Disney tweens or teens will be cast and no one can hold a candle to SJP or Helen Hunt's character, Lynne the class clown who breaks out with "Day-o" in the middle of choir practice. I haven't even mentioned some of the best lines from an movie of the 80's.
When Helen Hunt does and outfit quick-change, "Velcro. Next to the Walkman and Tab it is the coolest invention of the 20th century!"
The DanceTV guy on the dance costumes, "Oh, I like this. Sort of Rebel Without a Cause meets Sound of Music… you're taking a fashion risk. I like that."
Anywalkman, I have little faith in the filmmakers attempting this remake. No good can come of this. I expect the new version to pimp out every Disney Channel kid wannabe in Hollywood to try to make GJWTHF into some High School Musical clone. And I promise, if they cast Zac Efron as Jeff — no, I can't imagine it. I don't have to tell you that makes me ill. My other thought is that they might try to make it a serious film. It's not a musical, it's not trying to be West Side Story, it's a fun movie for fun times. Speaking of fun — here's the best fun scene of the movie, when the girls make copies of the rich girl's sweet sixteen party invitation and give invites to some trannies, punks, female body-builders, and hot messes in general. Love that. Sure, the Cyndi Lauper song is bastardized, but I forgive.
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