My uterus hates me. I just thought I would make that known to the public.
P.S. if you have some Tylenol 3 or I don't know, maybe an elephant tranquilizer laying around, could you bring it over?
this just in
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My uterus hates me. I just thought I would make that known to the public.
P.S. if you have some Tylenol 3 or I don't know, maybe an elephant tranquilizer laying around, could you bring it over?
kerryfaler.blog 
what the hell is wrong with your uterus??? not carrying any more children of the corn are you? dude! that would really be baaaadddd…. (personally speaking)
Melissa
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dude, it’s just my period. It seems like it’s worse every freaking month. I’m convinced it’s just going to fall out. Next month I’m just going to go to St. Tammany and ask to be hooked up to a morphine drip. If they say no, I’ll go across the street where they’re doing construction and ask someone to hit me with a hammer, then I’ll back to the hospital and tell them I’m injured. If that fails, my plan gets significantly heightened and may involve ordering something along the lines of what Wile. E. Coyote used to in the Roadrunner cartoons.
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Next month here’s your plan: Go find a “shady” street corner (or rehab clinic) and ask someone for “Special K”. (That wouldn’t be the cereal but Ketamine. My first ob/gyn gave that to me when I was birthing the first fruit of my loins under emergency c-section status and they forgot to turn back on the epidural. I distinctly remember telling the doc that I was “on a magical mystery tour” and when our precious was born and Ryan showed me the child, I saw three chirrens. That’s about all I remember. Good times huh?)
Or try BASE jumping off the construction site and I bet when you go to the ER you’ll get morphine.
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or you could go to the daiquiris on the corner of vets and williams blvd and order a white russian… according to lisa they put cocaine in them… that should do!
Melissa
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