somebody better call freakin’ PETA

I'll get to Tunes You Need Tuesday later, this couldn't wait.  You'll see why.

There are a few blogs I read everyday, from friends' blogs to scrapbooking blogs to more serious-toned blogs and one of my favorites is Manolo For the Big Girl, which I've written about before.  Today I went to MFTBG and found a link to what may possibly be the wrongest (yeah, I know it's not a word, that's how outraged I am!) site I have ever seen. 

Somebody better call freakin' PETA before I have a stroke.  I hate it when I see dogs dressed up in sweaters, so this made me nuts. 

WTF?  Now, I'm all about expressing creativity, but damn.  This is all kinds of wrong.  There is no explantaion other than this dog groomer never got to play with the Barbie Make Me Pretty Head when she was little and it taking it out on her dog.  No dog wants their ass fur turned into a sunflower!  I can't believe I actually wrote "ass fur" on the Kerry Blog; I've reached a new low, people. 

Groomer lady didn't stop with the flower, that dog has antenae!  She turned the dog into a snail in a garden of hell. 

Don't get me wrong, I love animals (cute furry ones anyway), but this is cruel.  And just when I thought I'd seen it all I scrolled down and saw this. 

Good Lord, now the poodle is a camel.  This dog is going to have and identity disorder.  For realz.  And groomer lady walked like an Egyptian for the award ceremony.  Poor camel/dog.  You know when they go to the dog park camel/dog gets made fun of by all the other dogs.  Even the chiauauas and those weird barkless dogs point and laugh at the camel/dog and tell all the other dogs to ask what King Tut was really like.  This dog is the Rodney Dangerfield of dogs, no respect. The dog is thinking "someone help me.  Michael Vick, anyone." 

Then when I thought it couldn't get any worse.

Oh hell no.  It's a damn Teenage effing Mutant effing Ninja effing Turtle dog. 

People, shut the back door.  Call the cops, it's all over.  I feel so deflated as a creative person, I'm going to get my scrapbook supplies out after the kids go to school tomorrow and get to work on making Lucy the basset hound the most glittery, blingged-out dog you've ever seen.  I may fold her long ears into some kind of origami — forget those cranes!  I'm going for a damn helicopter or a bi-plane or something that will fly, 'cause damn if we're gonna be shown up by a poodle!

Stay tuned for further developments, I may have finally gone off the deep end since I've seen the camel/turtle/dog and a damn pink freakin' dolphin this week.  Dear Baby Jesus, please let life start making sense or I'm going to check myself into the looney bin.  Please don't tell me I'm seeing things, because that means either I'm on too many meds or not enough and I think we all know the answer to that one.  Plus, it's National No Swearing Week and I tried my best, but there was no chance of that with Fluffy the dolphin and this travesty of the dog world happening in the same week.  I'm going to head to bed before I see a damn unicorn in the backyard or a dragon circling the house 'cause no one invited them to this party, that is unless they do laundry.