Although I've never been diagnosed with ADD (not the hyperactivity part for obvious reasons), I believe I have it and no one can convince me otherwise. I've had the hardest time trying to write a post for the past few days. Several times this week I have sat down with my laptop with an idea in my head (where I keep all my best ideas), write a title, start a sentence — maybe two, and something breaks my train of thought. Actually "train of thought" isn't such a great phrase for my thoughts. Maybe a "minivan of thoughts," maybe even a "caravan of thoughts," but I'm fairly certain I've never strung together enough thoughts to constitute a "train of thoughts."
Anyflaky, so I thought I'd walk you through the types of things that have happened while trying to blog over the past day or so.
I sit down to write about recording the commercial with my trusty laptop, cup of coffee, notepad, Sharpie pen, and phone. I get as far as the title when the phone rings.
- Scott calls to say someone called him about a job in Angola (the country, not the prison). What is he thinking? I'm going to have a stroke. For real this time.
- I Google "Angola" to make sure it's in Africa — yeah, it's still in Africa.
- I sing the song "Africa" by Toto to myself
- check the ScrapFest! email to see if we've received the MP3 of the commercial, nope
- check Facebook and comment on stuff.
- back to the blog
- Andrew comes over for a snack. I tell him I'm not making blueberry muffins and no, he can't eat the baking powder. He finally accepts some Goldfish crackers. I have a cookie.
- I decide to change my shirt, then end up putting on lipgloss, and look in one of my bags for my Pandora bracelet that is currently missing.
- phone rings, it's my mother-in-law telling me to call my sister-in-law about the party this weekend
- for some reason I give Andrew some Tootsie Rolls (this will haunt me later).
- back to the blog, write exactly three words, hear Lucy bark and look outside
- check email — no commercial
- check Facebook, chat with a friend for a bit, check Kirtsy.com and look at a few popular stories (find a supercute outfit), check our bank account, check CNN
- phone rings, it's Megan, Scott beeps in to say Angola's not that bad blah blah blah blah
- check my email — ooooooo– Mignon Faget for Valentine's Day. Look at mignonfaget.com, decide they really should have made the bee earrings in silver to go with my pendant, but no one asked me. Think about making a Valentine's wish list, maybe earrings.
- more coffee
- read exactly half an article in Rolling Stone, Andrew wants to watch Thomas the train, so I put his DVD on, find that he has ground some Goldfish into the carpet, I vaccuum the Goldfish
- back to the laptop, someone's trying to talk to me on Facebook, we chat, I watch Leslie Hall's "How We Go Out" video and laugh, check the weather for tomorrow, ponder what to wear to Andrew's speech eval, do some dishes, check SF email — no commercial, check my email — ooooooo — there's a perfect Olivetti Valentine typewriter on eBay. Now, that's a Valentine's gift! Think about Valentine's again. Think about Mardi Gras, should the kids and I go to S'port? Houston? Why the heck is school out for a week for Mardi Gras? Remind myself I live in south Louisiana.
- phone rings, it's Scott saying he needs a table for his apartment. I try to blog while talking to him, can't — check out lolcats, FU Penguin,tell Scott to get a card table as we do not need another table, check out coolmompicks.com and email Molly about a funky kids clothing site.
- back to the blog, check SF email — no commercial, call Megan and laugh about what music they could possibly put behind our voices on the ad. I was pulling for "Love Shack" or something else by the B-52's, the original southern party band, and Megan likes "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun." I say we should have "Lowrider" and Megan agrees. As everyone knows, that is our original theme song for scrapbook trips. I put a few things in the dishwasher.
- back to the blog, sing "Lowrider" and go to the iTunes store — I'm pretty sure they have subtly changed the interface, but I'm not positive. Ben Fold's "Bitch Went Nuts" comes on, I cringe when he says the C word. I'm not big on cursing, but not especially bothered by cursing, but the C word is just cringeworthy.
- iTunes has a Paul McCartney EP, interesting. I hear Andrew say "uh-oh" and get up to see what he's doing — he has gotten himself stuck to the carpet. It looks like he had fallen asleep while eating the Tootsie Rolls and they are stuck to his cheek. Brilliant! I ponder how to remove my son from the carpet and decide a warm wet washcloth should do it. He cries while I go get the washcloth, cries while I apply the washcloth to his face, cries as he is freed, runs off to go upstairs and yells "thank Mom!" no, not "thanks," he says "thank." I clean up the carpet, wonder why we ever got carpet in the first place, decide that we should get wood in the living room and contemplate ripping up the carpet myself. Decide that's probably not a good idea.
- back to the computer, completely forget what I was doing, never listen to the McCartney EP. Call Beth and tell her about the recording studio experience so she can have something to laugh at. My left eye starts watering — it's always my left eye — wassup with that? Stupid allergies. Chat with Mandy on Facebook about having lunch this week, I remind her to remind me to give her the clothes I have for Emily in a big Hefty bag that I've been driving around for almost a month.
- pour myself another cup of coffee, losing track of how many cups that makes. Notice that it's kinda cold and think I should put on socks. I hate socks.
- back to the blog, write exactly 0 words when the pop sound tells me someone's trying to say "what up?" on Facebook. I say "word." I notice I have a Friend Request and have no idea who the person is requesting my friendship. I email another friend to ask who this person is, as I have a memory like an encyclopedia of uselessness and can't place them. It dawns on me that I perhaps possibly may have gone to prom with this individual, then realize I went with another guy with the same first name. Whew.
- look at the clock on the microwave and realize I never ate lunch. I do this everyday. Everyday, unless I'm having lunch with a friend. It seems as an adult I cannot remember to make a deadblame sandwich for myself as I make lunch for the kids. I feed the kids and usually get busy with other things and realize at 2:30 or so that I'm starving. This is a problem. Not life or death, but a problem, nonetheless. I wonder if there is some kind of service, like a wake-up call at a hotel, that would call and remind me to eat lunch — then I realize that is one of my dumber ideas. At 2:30 I don't know what to eat for lunch, it's not lunchtime, it's not dinner — what would Elvis do? I have cheese and crackers, like a grown-up Lunchable.
- back to the blog, check our email — no commercial.
- It's 3 o'clock and the girls are getting off the bus. I realize I have accomplished a big fat zero of nothing and try to think of a better answer to the question "what did you do today?" for when I talk to Scott later, because "some stuff" sounds stupid. I contemplate telling him I have ADD, but I know he would just shake his head and say "you've been on the computer all day, haven't you?" to which I would reply, "no, not really," which is the truth.
So, next time the blog isn't updated for a day or so, just know it's the ADD. Or mad cow, I'm not sure.
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