grammar police

I love and appreciate the English language probably more than most.  While I’m by no means the best at remembering certain grammar rules, one of my pet peeves is when I see grammar used poorly.  You know what I mean: quotation marks for no reason, apostrophes thrown all over the place, and I hate seeing words misspelled for fun.  No, I’m not talking about "wassup" or the like, I mean "Kamper’s Korner" or "Kids Konnection" — people love to do it with the letter K, my favorite letter of the alphabet.  That gets me.  I also hate it when people don’t seem to know when "your" or "you’re" is appropriate, as in "you’re blog is stupid and your a big beyotch for hatin on peoples all the time, you should ‘get a life’."   I threw in extra bad grammar for fun. 

Often in conversation and in writing I feel the need to use gangsta verbage for no reason.  I like to keep it gangsta, white girl style, since I am in fact the whitest white woman in America in terms of skin color, anyway.  How many women do you know are more fair than the lightest color of foundation in almost every make-up line in the drugstore or department store?  That’s what I’m talking about.  Fo shizzle.

I also use dashes heavily in my writing.  Dashes are good, Emily Dickinson used them, and if it was good enough for her — whatev.  I don’t know what the verbal equivilent of a dash is.  I’ll have to think about that.  That may require setting up my Flip camera and recording an actual conversation.  I may have to do something that resembles research to get to the bottom of that one.  Maybe I’ll just ask my friends — I can’t devote a lot of time to research, I have online Christmas shopping to do and magazines to read.

This morning while checking all my favorite fun websites, I actually laughed out loud at something I thought I’d share.  This is something I would have done when I worked in an office.  It’s quite brilliant for those of us in the grammar police.