Stop it. What in the name of Wham are you doing? Did you somehow acquire a time machine and go back to 1992 and steal the motorcycle bustier from George Michael’s “Too Funky” video? I’m on to you, Beyonce.
Listen, it was kind of cute when you said you wanted to be Sasha Fierce, but it’s time to stop. We all feel like being someone else sometimes, but no one actually creates a new identity. And if they did, they would be crazy, just like you look like crazy came to town in this picture. I’m sure Garth Brooks would tell you, taking on a new persona doesn’t work. The name Chris Gaines ring a bell?
So, go back to being Beyonce, because George Michael and I can’t take it anymore. I’m blaming the headache I have right now on this picture and I’m billing you for my Excedrin Migraine.
Sincerely,
Kerry Faler (aka Champagne Supernova)
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