don’t start that ALL CAPS stuff with me

I had to renew my driver’s license in July, but I forgot about it because apparently I’m not capable of remembering when my birthday is (I know my friends are reading this and thinking “it’s July 9th, you celebrate for a week” whatev, ).  So, I was late renewing.  I’m starting to worry about myself — I forgot to vote early today and I’m not a forgetful person, so that’s annoying — maybe it’s mad cow, I don’t know, I’m not a doctor.

Anyway, I renewed my license online because I can’t be bothered to go to the DMV and they were supposed to send me a sticker to put on my license.  I paid the $10 late fee and everything.  Last week I had to write my driver’s license number on something and realized I never received my sticker.  I thought about putting a Hello Kitty sticker on it because we have plenty of those around the house, but I emailed the DMV instead.  Here is their response:

Records indicate the renewal was processed online 7-23-08.  We will send a
replacement sticker.  In the future, you MUST notify us within 60 days to
qualify for the free replacement.

Office of Motor Vehicles
PO Box 64886
Baton Rouge LA 70896

1-877-DMV-LINE (1-877-368-5463)

A person didn’t sign it.  There’s no XXXOOO, Lydia the DMV Lady or Stay Classy, Crystal Chanda Lear or anything.  I’m hurt.  I signed my email “Word to your mother, Kerry” like I do all my correspondence.  And what’s with the MUST in all caps?  I don’t HAVE to do anything.  And like I’m going to remember that in four years.  Oh, what a sense of humor the DMV has.  Hey, guess what?  I paid for my sticker, so you MUST send me my replacement.  It’s a damn sticker.  It can’t cost what I paid to make the thing, and as a taxpayer I’m paying the postage, so what’s the problem?  I’m a nice person and I try my best to make things better for others, so I’m going to send the Office of Motor Vehicles a bunch of Hello Kitty and Cars stickers to maintain our friendly relationship.  I think it would be a nice gesture if y’all send some stickers, too.  I may send them some free JR Frosty coupons I have along with some soaps I’ve picked up from all the hotels I’ve stayed in on scrapbook trips.    I mean, come on, who doesn’t like a Frosty?  Don’t worry, DMV, it’s on me.